Inspired by some of the search keywords that have led traffic to the Wrestling Nuggets blog i'm gonna write a little something, throwing out a few possible identities of the mysterious General Manager of Monday Night Raw.
Not much is known for certain about the individual running the show, other than the fact that he or she is a fast typer and that Michael Cole has probably e-mailed indecent photos of himself back to them, or maybe not, he's probably saving all those pics for the Miz.
As a tease to the audience the general manager has ended e-mails with former superstars catchphrases, Stone Cold's "And that's the bottome line..." has been used as has D-Generation X's "if you're not down with that, i've got 2 words for ya..." While this in no way guarantees the identify be that of Steve Austin or a member of DX i kinda wish they teased lines like that every week using different superstars famous lines. "Oh Yeah!" "Whatcha Gonna Do!"
One thing said by the GM which very possibly may be of no significance and never heard about again, was the GM mentioned in an e-mail that "they never liked Bret Hart". Even though this could quite easily turn out to be a red herring i used it as part of the criteria for some of the potential people on my shortlist.
Another aspect of the anonymous GM is a heel like nature and not pandering to the babyfaces. I think if the WWE had wanted to unveil the GM as some huge returning babyface one day then they would have curbed the annoying e-mail alert sound and distracting flickering of the lights.
These antics might suggest that whoever is the GM, doesn't care about being well liked. This heelish side also fits in with the way that the GM has favored The Nexus somewhat in decisions and stipulations over the last few months, maybe the GM is also the mastermind behind the Nexus, and when they are unveiled so to will "the bigger picture" Wade Barrett once mentioned was the Nexus' goal.
The biggest opponents of the anonymous GM, so far, have been: Chris Jericho & Edge. Is that a coincidence or is there a unmentioned history with these superstars and the GM.
I may be giving the WWE too much credit by thinking the whole angle of mysterious general manager has been thought out and having clues to the GM's identity being dropped along the way. Then again, it could just all be meaningless and WWE might not have even decided on who they want to play the role yet.
One thing i like about the whole storyline is that if or when the WWE do reveal the person behind all these e-mails they haven't restricted themselves to using someone who has been under contract the whole time.
The anonymity could be used if they resign former talent or even bring in someone new and just say it was them all along.
Okay lets get onto the list:
Who Is The Anonymous Raw GM???
1) Triple H -
He's been a way from WWE screens way too long., Triple H is my favorite to turn out as the Raw GM, although i'd prefer it if he just made his return as a wrestler. The GM has had previous run ins with Sheamus & Chris Jericho, some foes form Hunter's past, and there was that time an email contained DX's catchphrase. Plus HHH wasn't ever best friends with Bret Hart so that would fit the role as well. While it's far from guaranteed that Triple H will be the GM, he's got as much chance as any. What else do you want me to say?
2) Vince McMahon -
It could be the chairman, but he's not one to usually shy away from the limelight.
And if it turned out to be Vince McMahon it'd be as hugely anticlimactic as when Vince turned out to be the Undertaker's 'Higher Power' back in the Attitude era.
Vince has got the heel side and never liking Bret aspects of the GM covered though...
3) 'Good Old' J.R. -
Well JR's capable of using a computer as proved with his Ross Report on wwe.com and his twitter account and it'd be great to have him back on TV. The explanation for the GM's anonymity could work out as the WWE apparently don't think JR has the right look for TV.
It'd be a bit strange for him to play a bad guy though, that didn't work out so well last time they tried it.
Also wouldn't JR rather email his old pal Jerry 'The King' Lawler instead of Michael Cole?
4) Michael Cole -
Speaking of the leader of the Cole miners, why couldn't he be the GM? WWE has done stupider storylines. He's developed his persona enough to warrant playing an actual character now instead of just being a commentator. I think Cole as GM could work.
5) Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley -
I can't remember if she's married to Triple H or not in the storylines anymore but anyway, Ms.McMahon or Mrs.McMahon-Helmsley could easily play the role. The GM's rivalry with Jericho and her history with him make sense. She may have wanted to stay anonymous to stop any taunts that she used to get such as being called a "Filthy, Dirty, Disgusting, Brutal, Bottom-Feeding Trash Bag Ho." I could see the 'Billion Dollar Princess' making her return in this role.
6) Stone Cold Steve Austin-
Well they've already teased it could be Austin with emails containing "Gimme a Hell yeah!" and "That's the bottom line..."but it won't be. He has no reason to want to stay anonymous either and as cool as it might be to see Stone Cold back for a couple of weeks, his character wouldn't really work in the WWE's PG land. On the same token, it also won't be The Rock.
7) Hulk Hogan -
I would be a huge fan of Hogan turning out to be the Raw GM. His wrestling days are done but he's still the Hulkster. He works way better in WWE than the mess he's currently in in TNA. And they could play up the fact that he wanted to be anonymous for so long cause he was off somewhere working on his tan.
Even better would be if returned on screen but stayed anonymous by using his Mr.America mask!
8) Kurt Angle -
My personal wish. I would mark out so hard if Angle turned out to be the GM. I want Kurt Angle back in the WWE. He fits this role so well. He's already dressed up and played a cowboy, a king and worn a wig he's even been a GM before on Smackdown. He also has a long history with both Edge & Chris Jericho, so he would fit in with the continuity of the storyline. In this role, Angle would be able to recover from injuries and not have to travel to so many house shows, plus he could occasionally put himself in some matches which would be freaking great. Oh, and during the Anonymous GM's famous interview on 'The Cutting Edge' with his computerized voice he said: "Why do you hate me, yo?!" a line that could easily be something said by Kurt, whose always been known for his coolness!
9) JBL -
Bradshaw could make a great GM. Already great at promos, but JBL doesn't seem like the type that would want to stay anonymus plus he'd probably be more interested in going back to Smackdown to deal with Alberto Del Rio stealing his entrance!
10) Paul Heyman -
How awesome would it be if Heyman was the Raw GM and the mastermind behind Nexus???Very awesome is what i think. Never going to happen, however, is another thing i think. I would love it if this scenario was at all possible.
How's about this for some mark-tastic over thinking: The 'Bigger Picture' behind the Nexus is for the new stars and youthful wrestlers to get their place in the spotlight, not by starting a brand new company and working from the ground up but by taking over an established brand already, WWE Raw, in the hope of becoming as iconic as Heyman's original ECW. Then the reason the Nexus attacked Undertaker during the Bragging Rights Buried Alive match was to get revenge on The Undertaker, who was mad that the 'Taker confronted his friend and client, Brock Lesnar, the night before at UFC 121.
To a certain extent i'd also mark out like crazy if Joey Styles took over this role.
Hey, and we know Joey is good with computers.
11) Vickie Guerrero -
Okay Vickie has already had the job as Raw GM, but she got chased off by Randy Orton. Maybe thats why the GM is anonymous now. I'm a fan of Vickie's but she being the GM would be a bit anticlimactic . Does have a past with Edge though which adds to her case.
12) Hornswoggle -
I doubt its the lil guy. If he can't even speak English yet how would he be able to send emails so fats, unless the little rascal has been lying this whole time and is secretly a
baby mini genius!
13) Mike Adamle -
It would be great if the Raw GM turned out to be Adamle. Notorious for his mistakes and a regular on Botchamania during his original run as commentator and GM. If it turns out to be Adamle it might be for the best to keep him anonymous, at least keep him away from a live mic!
14) The Black Scorpion -
another guy used to intrigue and mystery would be the Black Scorpion. Even if he showed himself on screen, would people be able to guess who he was? Whoooooooooooo!
15) The Shockmaster -
it would make complete sense for this guy to want to remain anonymous. Last time he made an entrance it didn't go quite as expected.
Only thing is i'm not sure he'd be able to type many emails while he's wearing that bedazzled helmet of his.
Who the Anonymous Raw General Manager SHOULD Be:
OZ!Kevin Nash has recently become a free agent after leaving TNA Wrestling so WWE would be able to sign him up to play the role. Oz (or the Wizard of Oz) as the GM makes perfect sense, in the movie the Wizard hid behind a shield of anonymity until near the end of the film, the GM has been hiding their identity since the gimmick began. Also Kevin Nash returning in this role would be much fresher than another rehash of the cool, n.W.o, Kliq-y 'Big Daddy Cool' Kevin Nash and as a GM with his own office he would have less chance of badly injuring himself entering or exiting the ring.
Oz as the GM would be amazing, i know it, you know it. WWE sign Kevin Nash back to a long term contract right now, make this happen!
People it should NOT be...
Vince Russo -
just no. The former WCW World champion never needs to return to WWE. He does have history of anonymous character's from his days as editor of WWE Magazine and the 'Vic Venom' rumors reporter.
Eric Bischoff -
again just no. Not as bad a choice as Russo but still...Bischoff has definitely peaked in the wrestling business.
Bob Barker -
he was great as a guest host for one week of Raw and he did have a run in with Jericho but he's best off as just a occasional special guest, although i rather have Barker be the GM than another gameshow personality....
Banker from Deal Or No Deal -
Just cause this guy is used to being anonymous doesn't mean it should be him. Infact is this show even on anymore?
And please, please, please don't let it be:
MATTHEW Hardy -
what if that Twitter addict and legend in his own mind, Matt Hardy had played us all along and turns out to be not only, still employed by WWE, but also the Raw GM. I think we're safe from this nightmare scenario happening though as MATTHEW would have just used youtube videos instead of e-mails, or Michael Cole would've at least mentioned the ALL CAPS nature of the messages.
Also he probably doesn't have time to manage a show since he's too busy eating grapes and taking break from his work outs. Phew.
To get to the bottom of this and to solve the mystery of who the GM is might have be another task for the finest psychic around... Lizzy 'The Bearded Dragon' Steamboat