Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Shoulda Been A Superstar...

Featured Nugget: Shoulda Been A Superstar #2

Ari Gold
There's no two ways about it, Ari Gold, the slick talking super agent from HBO's Entourage would make a great character in professional wrestling. 

I gotta warn you if you keep reading this post it does contain some videos that feature Ari Gold's signature profanity and vulgarity, if you've got little 'uns around might be a good time to 'earmuff' them.

Yeah, Jeremy Piven has already appeared on WWE shows. 'The Piv' had a week as guest host of Raw and got into an altercation with John Cena i know this...but it's not 'The Piv' i'm talking about here, its the character he plays on Entourage 'Ari Gold'
I know that as of right now with all WWE shows being rated PG, Ari Gold couldn't just transition onto Raw or Smackdown and would have to tone down his language quite a bit. But hey, i still think he's awesome so we're gonna overlook that fact and anyway TNA would probably let some of his banter fly...

On the show Ari Gold proves himself to be one of the best talkers in Hollywood. In nearly every episode Ari comes across as a rude and obnoxious a$$hole but he has so many funny moments you can't help but like him and root for the guy. 

While Ari is also very smart, often times he'll ends up doing some really stupid things. In the 7 seasons of the show so far he has consistently been one of its highlights. 
So many of Ari's characteristics would make for a thoroughly entertaining gimmick in wrestling. 
Ari's bluntness and downright rudeness would make for some exceptional promos.
His angry issues and hilarious outburts would also make for some can't miss skits. 
Ari Gold as a wrestling manager/ agent / commissioner / commentator would be downright brilliant.

The character of Ari would bring interest to not only matches or guest commentary, but could be used amazingly well in contract negotiations over match stipulations or wrestler trades. Put in charge of a wrestler, in the role of that as an agent or manager, Ari's aggressiveness & ambition couldn't fail to help get them over. 
While Ari may seem like a selfish and egotistical character he also knows building up those around him helps him become richer and more powerful.

In the show, Ari takes his client Vincent Chase from obscurity to become one of the biggest stars in Hollywood., this same tactic would work perfectly in wrestling.
Managing and being the mouth piece for an up and coming wrestler, Ari's interview skills and negotiating would help build up main event stars for years to come. 
Just as his client in the show gains more fame and becomes more successful, so to does Ari Gold. Ari also has more ambition than almost all the celebrities he signs, Ari wants to become the most powerful man in Hollywood and goes onto to take over the biggest agency in town. 
This ambition could easily cross over into wrestling. After first leading an individual wrestler to some success, he could become more hungry for titles and main events and expand his stable of wrestlers/clients. 
If just handling the business of a few wrestlers wasn't enough he could aim to take over a show. Much more than just the standard general managers that have been used on Raw and Smackdown in the past, if you've seen Ari Gold on Entourage you know the type of drama and entertainment he would bring to the role. 
In one of the previous seasons, Ari, takes over a rival talent agency, instead of just firing all the staff he no longer wants he heads over to the offices and blasts those he doesn't like with a paintball gun. Okay you couldn't get away with that in your line of work but it doesn't stop it being incredibly entertaining.

While the role of an agent or manager doesn't sound very cutting edge or exciting, Ari Gold would bring a fresh new spin to the role. His outstanding promo skills and slick talking nature would help build up the wrestlers he represented and establish them a major superstars, plus his biting put downs and witty taunts about opponents would make it impossible for the crowd to not take notice. Not to mention be huge for merchandising ideas and coming up with catchphrases. "Let's hug it out, bitch!" was all Ari. 

In terms of wrestling characters a few former stars have had similar traits. His one liners, hilarious anger outbursts and knack for ending up in embarrassing or awkward situations is reminiscent of Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan. 

His quick talk and agent style is similar to that of Paul E. Dangerously/Paul Heyman. 

And his power hungry ambitious nature, with his ruthless streak is like that of Mr.McMahon. 

Those characters  themselves were brillaint, how awesome would it be to have a combination of all three!

Ari even has his own special move ready to go... "The bitch slap for a bitch!"

Why there isn't a manager/agent type character using the Ari Gold gimmick in wrestling right now i do not know. I will happily play this role (for cheap!) if any promotion wants to employ me! 
This one needs to be done.
Ari involved in wrestling would be golden. (please excuse the pun, i'm sorry i couldn't help it)

There is one other character on Entourage who i think would make a great wrestling superstar...
 Johnny Drama!
On the show Drama is the older half brother of Vincent Chase. While most of the episodes revolve around the success that his younger sibling is enjoying, Drama, adds alot of humor to the show with his own efforts at becoming a Hollywood superstar. 
Drama is brilliantly bitter at the world but overly confident at the same time. He is self-absorbed and narcissistic but that only makes him more likable because of how ridiculous and pitiful he really is. If a new character playing an older brother to, lets say, John Cena or Randy Orton was introduced to wrestling and used Johnny Drama as his role model an outline for his personality it would be nothing but awesome. 
He even has a ready made catchphrase "Victory!"

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